Now, you have taken the time to browse my website where do we go from here. Well, let’s begin as I am new to blogging and nervous a little. I never fully seen myself as a blogger until well many thoughts came to mind. I just thought I would have published a poetry book and stay low key but, I guess God has other plans. So let me tell you just a little more about myself as you may have read already, I lost my late father, mother, and husband within years of each other. It hurts I must admit but, it strengthens me as a person. Yes, I know the emotions that lots of people go through every day without a loved one. I also know what it takes to rebuild and just continue to push even on days when you just want to curl up in a ball and just die yourself. It gets lonely as you begin to ask yourself questions that you personally know you will not get the answers to. Or would you, I’ll leave that for another day to answer.
It has taken me sometime to process the matter that I loss three major people in my life. In addition, being a mother grieving from the loss but, helping another human being to understand what it takes to heal properly. A mother who had to be somewhat strong but, teaching my son, it’s okay to cry as it helps to release some of the emotions that are felt. Here is the thing who am I speaking too, because we all experienced loss but also lost. It’s like an emotional roller coaster that continues to go up and down non-stop. When you thought you have just got over one thing here comes another just beaten you down to the point your wondering, God what have I done please tell me. I understand because, that’s how I felt many days and nights crying not understanding the big “WHY”. This was the last straw as I wrote a poem called “Kept Me” for that very reason. A confession but, prayer in one trying to seek answers to the only one who can answer.
The waiting, tears, sleepless nights, anxiety and much more because, the change and realization that it was part of change. That word change can be a tough pill to swallow as it can be good, or bad. Yet, knowing it’s a part of the emotional roller coaster you experience in life. The part that no one is ready or prepared for. Therefore, it sits with you until one day you decide, I had enough of crying and going in circles. There must be another way to life then me sitting as a lightbulb goes off “ding” that’s my impression of a lightbulb going off. Okay, work with me, I’m trying here. Anyway, how do you process those emotions, how do you begin to place one foot in front of another, just how do you do it. Well simple, just breath and allow yourself to have compassion for what you are feeling. Place one foot in front of the other and continue this routine until one day you look back and you’re not the same anymore.
The process begins to become easy as you… what’s a good word “Live” oh! Wow I felt refresh just saying that. Let me say that again “Live, Live, Live” I like the sound of that. What I’m trying to convey to you is that… you have breath in your body. Don’t give up on that breath that you have cherish it and breathe in the air and thank God each day. Can I let you in on a secret? If I let you in, please I beg of you please don’t tell anyone. Okay here goes, it’s okay to question GOD for your answer. Did you catch that? It’s okay to question him, he already knows what you need and want before you ask. I can testify to that. This is the very reason I can write, talk, and speak about it. I was angry with him very much but, I allowed myself to feel those emotions happy or sad. Trust me I written God a couple of letters telling him how I felt. Guess what in the end, it felt so (emphasis on so) good let me tell you. I was so mad I even took it out on the boxing bag something I know couldn’t hit back. I’m just giving you a healthy way to cope with anger.
“It’s like an emotional roller coaster that continues to go up and down non-stop.”
You and I Inspired Me 